Ten Reasons to Be Nice to Abby

For the first time since the inception of Gramma's night away, Abby did not stay at Gramma's house Friday. My mom and I talked about the big changes in her life (Miss Pat did warn us to wait until 6 months or so before feeling like Abby had adjusted perfectly to Jack's arrival) because Miss Julie pointed out all the big changes in Abby's life and what sort of insecurity that breeds. SO here they are:

Mom was pregnant and sick and cranky and tired for 10 months
The downstairs was re-painted, refurnished
We changed around her room while she was away (our intention was good!), and several other rooms
A BABY came and took up residence in Mom and Dad's room.
There was much talk about being a big girl and going to Kindergarten
Gramma's house (haven) in Camarillo went away
Gramma's new house (future haven) is not put together yet
Gramma's foot had a pin in it!
She changed Sunday School classes
Grandpa and Zoozie's house is in construction


Talked to Miss Janet today about Abby's resulting clinginess having increased tenfold and she suggested I walk with Abby everyday alone to just let her talk. The walk part didn't work out, but the idea of letting her talk because kids don't always know what they feel - that was the clincher. She'd been doing a lot of "I just can't handle this" and "I just can't do this" and it just seemed out of nowhere. So while I cuddled with her before bed I threw away the no talking rule and just let her talk.

What came out was that she wants to be a builder when she grows up (houses. all over the place. rainbow ones.) but more than anything she doesn't want to grow up. She seems really really scared about growing up and basically being forced to move up and out.

So, when she's seventeen and dying to get out of the house, we'll just tell her how it was so sweet when she was four she wanted to stay with me forever and ever and be in this house and never ever grow up. She wants Jack only to grow up to as tall as she is then she wants him to stop as well.

After talking some more she sighed and said, "Let's go to sleep now." And lest you get tears in your eyes because of how sweet that sounds the tone implied, "Um, enough already, shut up."