Dancing with Abby

I have this nagging awareness in my head that I say "no" so much more than I should. My first instinct in any situation is to sit quietly.
To do whatever I can to make everyone around me sits just as quietly.

While we were at Paseo, listening to a folksinger lady in the courtyard of this incredibly warm, clear, night, Abby asked me to dance.

I suppose part of my issue was the crowd that was waiting for the singer to take her next set. Part of it was that it was just a CD at the time, while the performer took a break. It just felt like the appropriate answer, was, of course: No, honey.


And then I heard myself and saw the sincerity in Abby's eyes and wondered why it was a 'no.' Was I really afraid? Self - conscious? Just a bit tired since sleep has stalled again on all fronts?

Whatever my issue was, was it so important that I should reject my baby's request to dance?



No, of course it isn't.


There are moments when all the magic just happens in this soft way. And its just the impressions that we're left with. Like the look on Abby's face in the fairy light and her child-grace as she dances with her heart on her sleeve.

Thanks to Gramma for playing with my camera with the flash so as not to disturb the moment.

Senor Panda

Look at those shifty eyes... that shady ring of teethers... Who's he trying to fool with one purple ear and one orange? Does he think Jack is an idiot? And the flowers. Pahleeze. Don't even gt Jack started on the flowers. This guy. He's obviously a bad seed, anyone can tell that - especially Jack. Still... something in him... draws Jack to him. Perhaps they share a core fascination with spit bubbles, I don't know. But this Panda and Jack are inexplicably drawn to each other. Does Jack love him or hate him? Does Jack loathe everything Senor Panda stands for, or does he simply desire the bond of brotherhood with him?

When Jack had no control over his arms, he stared at the Panda. When he could flail them, he flailed them at Senor Panda. Now he can grab and oh... Panda knows it. The question that haunts Jack, is does Panda fear it or anticipate it?

Perhaps we will never know. Perhaps they will be locked in loving combat until the end of time.

Jack Laughs... Really

I know. I'm evil. But how can I resist tickling him when he is SO cute.

Abby's Insanity-making Book

So one of you dear people (I think the Lambs?) gave me this book when Abby was a baby - possibly even for her baby shower. It's a great book. I cannot tell you how much enjoyment has been had over the years for Abby and I.

I look forward to it bringing joy to Jack now for years to come.

Here's what else it does.

IT DRIVES ME INSANE

There are five pages: pigs, horses, cows, chickens and sheep. For each scene there are "interactive" or "multimedia" elements to the pages: hair for the horse, shiny bell for the cow, that sort of thing. Each scene has THREE of these elements....


The pig has: a piece of plywood for the fence, a velcro like fabric for the pig's skin, and a sticky thing for mud.




The horse has: hair for the horse's main, a shiny pail, and burlap for the hay



The chickens have: feathers for the chicken, bumpy stuff for the corn, and smooth paper for the egg.

The sheep have: soft wooly fabric for the sheepskin, plastic for the water, and soft silky material for a flower.

The cows have: soft fuzzy fabric for the cow hide, a shiny bell around the cow's neck, and... and...

AND...

NOTHING

EVERY OTHER SCENE HAS THREE WHY NOT THIS ONE?

WHY??!! I ask you WHY?

At first I thought it was random, I didn't notice, for example, the wood fence in the pig section so I thought, "Oh, well, some have three, some have two."

But that ain't it people. There are THREE elements on EVERY other page.

I keep thinking, maybe I'm missing it. Maybe this time there will be three for each scene. Maybe this time there will be harmony in the world. Maybe this time I won't put the book down with a twitch under my eye. Maybe it was a manufacturer's mistake in my one copy. Maybe there is meaning to this. Maybe I can sleep at night...

But no...

It drives me...


BATTY.

Jack's Traditional Bottom Shot

Catalogues for Abby

I am starting to think of plans for getting Abby more interested in different hair styles.

Already she's become much more interested in clothes since I started showing her catalogs. Her tastes already have grown - she still desperately wants rainbow - very loud patterns, very twirly skirts. But either peer pressure or just natural progression has made her judgmental of her old "dress over regular shirt/clothes" look. She said its ugly and is vehement against it.

SO next up... hair? She's already started brushing her own hair now and then and there have been less tantrums letting me finish it off. But up? Still a fight.

Abby - Outside Again

Hey - guess what that beautiful green color is toward the bottom of the frame!

GRASS!!!! We are open for business people.

Jack's Got a New Bag

Hazel tipped me off a few weeks ago that Jack's drooly bubbly number was intentional. I quickly realized that it is indeed not only intentional, but fun too. He has a great time making pools and pools of bubbly drool.

Jack & A Little Something Soft

There's nothing wrong with a boy appreciating the softness of the softest manly blanket in the world, all right?

Jack actually likes all blankets, but he really really likes this camo blanket from Kirsten. He grabs it and rubsitalloverhisface and kind of chews on it and loves it generally. I always wondered how babies got attached to blankies and dolls since Abby was only attached to real live people. The answer, I suppose, is that it just sort of happens.

Abby and Jack: LOVE

Oh my gosh!! Do I love them! and Oh my gosh!! do they love each other.

Jack will look all around for her while she dances around the room singing songs about him. She lets him pull her hair just saying, "Oh my gosh, he's got my hair." He just stares at her with his little heart in his eyes wanting nothing more than to just watch her.

Abby is finally content to go to sleep at night... because Jack is currently and possibly semi-permanently sharing her room (suggestion from the psychologist that visits the school)! Abby is thrilled and, says the lady, will let us know when she's done with it.

Jack's Eye Color

Jack seems to be following in his sister's footsteps and not choosing a specific eye color. It's sort of a mix of his parents (hazel and gray blue). Always fun to try to narrow down when checking the appropriate box.

Ten Reasons to Be Nice to Abby

For the first time since the inception of Gramma's night away, Abby did not stay at Gramma's house Friday. My mom and I talked about the big changes in her life (Miss Pat did warn us to wait until 6 months or so before feeling like Abby had adjusted perfectly to Jack's arrival) because Miss Julie pointed out all the big changes in Abby's life and what sort of insecurity that breeds. SO here they are:

Mom was pregnant and sick and cranky and tired for 10 months
The downstairs was re-painted, refurnished
We changed around her room while she was away (our intention was good!), and several other rooms
A BABY came and took up residence in Mom and Dad's room.
There was much talk about being a big girl and going to Kindergarten
Gramma's house (haven) in Camarillo went away
Gramma's new house (future haven) is not put together yet
Gramma's foot had a pin in it!
She changed Sunday School classes
Grandpa and Zoozie's house is in construction


Talked to Miss Janet today about Abby's resulting clinginess having increased tenfold and she suggested I walk with Abby everyday alone to just let her talk. The walk part didn't work out, but the idea of letting her talk because kids don't always know what they feel - that was the clincher. She'd been doing a lot of "I just can't handle this" and "I just can't do this" and it just seemed out of nowhere. So while I cuddled with her before bed I threw away the no talking rule and just let her talk.

What came out was that she wants to be a builder when she grows up (houses. all over the place. rainbow ones.) but more than anything she doesn't want to grow up. She seems really really scared about growing up and basically being forced to move up and out.

So, when she's seventeen and dying to get out of the house, we'll just tell her how it was so sweet when she was four she wanted to stay with me forever and ever and be in this house and never ever grow up. She wants Jack only to grow up to as tall as she is then she wants him to stop as well.

After talking some more she sighed and said, "Let's go to sleep now." And lest you get tears in your eyes because of how sweet that sounds the tone implied, "Um, enough already, shut up."

Jack's First Games

Jack went to his first Laker game and his first Dodger game within four days of each other.

The Laker/Clipper game was late.




The Dodger/Padres game was hot.

But all in all it was a win/win

Come to think of it, he went to the zoo for the first time this week as well (he slept through it). What a week!

Abby Dances

Abby's moved inspired by the Clipper cheerleaders and Auntie Samantha...

Abby's Solo

Abby's ballet class has two or three month sessions and this most recent session for some reason had a lot of new kids in it. Miss Caroline is going to try to get a recital going for the end of this session so she is working on routines and she has the new girls doing one routine while Abby, Anatole, and Claire do a little solo which is tied for the cutest thing on the planet (today) with Jack's laughing. It is SO cute because the one little boy in the class has to run back and forth between the two ballerinas pretending to lift them up. OH my GOSH it's funny.

Jack Laughed!

Today Jack laughed... like out and out chortled. I brought him in to watch Steve and Abby play their "stick" game which is when Steve takes these things that are supposed to help kids not slip in the tub. I say "supposed to" because I wouldn't know if they worked because Abby always insisted on pulling them up the first thing when she got in the tub. Anyway Steve takes them (we have about 20) and throws them up at the ceiling to make them stick and then they will either not stick and fall on Abby or they will stick and then eventually fall on Abby. Abby loves it and I think stayed in her bath for an extra half hour waiting for Steve to get home to play it.

Anyway Jack was watching this little scene and he just burst out laughing... several times. It was the cutest thing on the planet.

Abby's Face

Well, as I have mentioned, I am taking a camera strike with Abby to give her a break from the torture of constant photo taking from... me.

My one exception is if she wants to "play camera" or asks me to take a picture of her. But I will not offer and will not suggest either. Though I'm not sure by what logic this may work since my mom hardly ever took pictures and Aaron HATED and still HATES his picture being taken... But I have to try, right?

Oh wait, we have a family event Thursday night. And tomorrow we're going to the zoo. Okay. I just wont' ASK her to pose. I'll take her picture but without asking her to smile or even having her know she's getting her picture taken. That's only fair, right?

ANYWAY she wanted to play camera and I got one chance for one last photo before I put the camera away for the month... (excepting Thursday and... other events)... Aaron you would have left home if I'd been your mother...

Jack - thru Daddy's eyes

I think the interesting thing about photos is how we give different pictures to different people - in other words - we react to who is behind the camera. In this case - Steve had the camera - and he got such a different side to Jack because of it.

I love this last one because that is how Jack reacts to kisses - so I think that is him giving me a kiss - this expectant sort of drooly lunge.

Jack - Baby and the Bathwater

So he doesn't totally adore the bath... but he doesn't totally hate it either. Granted, it's not a terribly private time for him ;)

Honey Water, Pillow Stacks, Oatmeal

Three things that seem to have made a huge difference in Abby's nighttime wakings. Warm Honey Water for her throat. Pillow stacks so that the draining from her nose doesn't tickle her throat as badly (tip from Aaron that that is what was the problem to begin with). Oatmeal lotion after baths has hugely affected her itching. In fact, as far as I can tell it's practically cured it.

From no hope to much hope.

Abby: Waiting for the Grass to Grow...

Or... well, for the grass to be manually put in by the workers...


We are soooo very close to having a beautiful backyard. I cannot wait. Abby cannot wait. Abby's friends don't know it - but they cannot wait.

Abby's Bed Head

In the bright morning sun, Abby awakes like this: