Abby's Insanity-making Book

So one of you dear people (I think the Lambs?) gave me this book when Abby was a baby - possibly even for her baby shower. It's a great book. I cannot tell you how much enjoyment has been had over the years for Abby and I.

I look forward to it bringing joy to Jack now for years to come.

Here's what else it does.

IT DRIVES ME INSANE

There are five pages: pigs, horses, cows, chickens and sheep. For each scene there are "interactive" or "multimedia" elements to the pages: hair for the horse, shiny bell for the cow, that sort of thing. Each scene has THREE of these elements....


The pig has: a piece of plywood for the fence, a velcro like fabric for the pig's skin, and a sticky thing for mud.




The horse has: hair for the horse's main, a shiny pail, and burlap for the hay



The chickens have: feathers for the chicken, bumpy stuff for the corn, and smooth paper for the egg.

The sheep have: soft wooly fabric for the sheepskin, plastic for the water, and soft silky material for a flower.

The cows have: soft fuzzy fabric for the cow hide, a shiny bell around the cow's neck, and... and...

AND...

NOTHING

EVERY OTHER SCENE HAS THREE WHY NOT THIS ONE?

WHY??!! I ask you WHY?

At first I thought it was random, I didn't notice, for example, the wood fence in the pig section so I thought, "Oh, well, some have three, some have two."

But that ain't it people. There are THREE elements on EVERY other page.

I keep thinking, maybe I'm missing it. Maybe this time there will be three for each scene. Maybe this time there will be harmony in the world. Maybe this time I won't put the book down with a twitch under my eye. Maybe it was a manufacturer's mistake in my one copy. Maybe there is meaning to this. Maybe I can sleep at night...

But no...

It drives me...


BATTY.